Let's face it, venturing outside your comfort zone can be scarier than a horror movie marathon in a haunted house. But hey, who said life's supposed to be all cozy slippers and predictable plotlines? Taking that leap of faith can turn into a comedy of errors or, if you're lucky, with a happily-ever-after twist. This post is my Guide to embracing Chao, Finding your Laugh again, and taking a chance on something you wouldn't normally do, because we have all learned at one point in our lives that life is too short to be watching from the sidelines.
Picture this: I'm cruising through life on autopilot, sticking to the straight and narrow like a GPS with no detour button. Then, bam! The big 4-0 hits me like a ton of reality-check bricks. Suddenly, I'm like, "Wait a minute, whose life is this anyway?" Cue the dramatic music, because it's time for a plot twist: I'm putting me first, just for a hot minute or two. I've always and continue to do for my kids, never really stepping outside the box, taking a leap of faith, just going to work coming home and doing it all over again. I wanted to do something fun, something for myself, something where I could express myself and do something that I typically would never do. I just needed a little change, not a big one, but just a little one.
I was, minding my own business, surrounded by dirty laundry and half-eaten snacks, when suddenly it hit me - I needed a change. Not a change like finally organizing that junk drawer (although, let's be real, that's still on the to-do list), but a fun change that screamed 'This is for me!' It was like a mid-life crisis, but with less sports cars and more TikTok
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not ditching my kid crew—aka my family—but I'm stepping out of my comfort zone faster than a cat avoiding a bath. And let me tell you, having teenage daughters is like having your comedy show. They keep me hip with the trends faster than you can say "Snapchat filter."
I am here attempting TikTok dances like I'm auditioning for a music video, only to get a reality check from my 15-year-old sidekick with a masterful eye roll and a sprinkle of sarcasm. But hey, who needs backup dancers when you've got self-deprecating humor?
After stumbling through more TikTok dances than I care to admit (seriously, who knew the Macarena could still be trendy?), I realized that failure isn't the end of the world; it's just a plot twist in the sitcom of life. Each flop was like a blooper reel, reminding me not to take myself too seriously. Then, one day, I stumble upon these 20-something influencers selling makeup and facial beauty supples, on TikTok like it's the QVC of the digital age. And I think to myself, "I can do this!" Famous last words, right? But hey, how hard can it be? Cue the laugh track and eye roll.
However, nothing, not even the daunting prospect of embarrassing myself online, was going to deter me from chasing my dream career of becoming the next #mominfluencer. Ha! So, I took a plunge, and I mean a belly-flop-of-epic-proportions kind of plunge, into the bewildering world of TikTok and online sales. Initially, I only joined to keep tabs on my 11-year-old's TikTok escapades, but before I knew it, I was concocting this wild idea to start my business account, aptly named Bougiebudgetmama. And just like that, I embarked on a journey with no map, no compass, and no clue where it would lead. All I knew is that my bags were packed and I had hit the road with no plan in sight.
I began making videos, I mean how hard could this be, I love to talk, put my phone in front of myself and just ramble on, and tell a bunch of strangers my quest in life. I was expecting millions of views, the next social media icon, I was expecting the media to be knocking on my door at any moment for interviews! Boy was I wrong. My first video only had 36 views, my next 34, and after it kept going down. Okay, the joke was on me. What was I doing wrong? I researched the internet as I tend to do when something perplexes me and I learned that there’s a secret to the madness of being successful on the internet. Of course there is.
First, did you know that TikTok is trying to become the next YouTube, and there is a method to the craziness to become TikTok famous? There is an actual algorithm to gain views and followers. Who would have thought that? I certainly would not have. I was bound and determined to crack the code. Oh, I cracked it…my next video had 4600 views I was starting to gain followers! Okay, I see you Tik Tok!
I dug further down the rabbit hole. I mean I dug deep! Now that I was intrigued by this algorithm and was gaining followers, I was let in on a whole different world from what I was used to seeing on TikTok- Market Affiliates. I had video after video about how these 20-something kids were making 6 figures, or these stay-at-home moms were able to create this charming life for their family by selling some products on Amazon or posing in a few outfits. I’m working crazy hospital hours, being called every name under the sun, away from my family and kids, and under so much stress and this is what I need to do to be successful? Sign me up! I can sell a Tarte eyeliner by making a video, no problem, or so I thought. I don't normally do anything like this, but what the heck, why not try? I had just gotten some hair extensions in my hair, so I tried making some "how-to videos" with the new hair and they were a hit! I may have hit the jackpot I thought to myself.
I began making videos, trying to gain more and more followers, what was a slow process. Then I learned that for me to sell in the TikTok shop I had to have a business, well even though I organically was trying to gain 5000, I was so far from it, and somehow TikTok realized I wasn’t a “true business” and they banned me for life from the shop. I was put in jail. Wow talk about feeling scolded and in trouble. My feelings were a little hurt. The funny thing is I never even opened a shop. I was a mom, who had no idea what she was doing, trying to be a social media influencer and I got banned before I started. That career ended before it started. So it was back to the drawing board.
In the meantime, I was still gaining followers, and I thought well, maybe I could have a platform with LTK, and they would let me be a creator with them and I could collaborate with the brands that I love. I could show them my personal Instagram account and TikTok account and my 50 followers lol, (I think I had a little more at this point), and potentially sell products with them. I was quickly turned away from them as well because I didn’t have enough followers or any pieces to show them. WOW, that was an ego deflator, and a little humbling as well. I never failed at something. I have been banned for life from selling on TikToc and now I'm not enough for the LTK community, well then who was I good for? Sure, I faced more rejection than a stale piece of gum on the sidewalk, but did I let that stop me? Absolutely not! I bounced back faster than a rubber ball in a room full of puppies. Because let's face it, if I can survive embarrassing myself on the internet, I can survive anything.
I continued to read and read more about the market affiliate and I was getting more intrigued about the entire process, but I continued to think to myself how was going to possibly integrate into my life. Then it hit me why not start a website…or even better maybe start a blog. Everyone always tells me that my life is crazy and hilarious, and I should write some of this stuff down, or write a book, well guess what, that’s what I’ll do I’ll start writing a blog.
I knew nothing and I mean nothing about writing a blog or building a website. I began watching YouTube videos on building a website and writing blog posts. What to include, what website to go through, all of a sudden I became obsessed with it. I became a web designer overnight. Did I forget to mention that I still have 4 kids, work full time, have a husband, and a house, and am in the middle of studying for my IBCLC (short for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant)? Clearly, I have plenty of time.
I picked a website and got to work. Little did I know how much work it was. The version of a website that you see is very different from the one on the PC or on your phone. Therefore, when you build it, I learned that you actually need to build two to three different versions. very different. It took me a bit to get it all together but I did it all by myself and launched it all by myself. I was proud. I had no idea about the getting recognized on the internet either, I learned about Search Engine Opitimization, and finding keywords and phrases that are popular and trending everyday. Apparently, I'm supposed to have a "Niche" as well, expect, this mom likes to talk about everything and everyone, so you'll get your buffet of topics. That's probably why I'm still ranking so low in the Mommy Blog world lol.
My goal was to have 250 people visit the website for the first month and I had that the first three days! It was amazing! I started an Instagram and Facebook account with Bougiebudgetmama to try to get as many followers as possible. I even started a Pinterest board with all my market affiliate links to draw more followers.
I began market affiliating with Amazon and thought how hard could it be? Everyone shops with Amazon. They have a contract that you must have three separate sales from your Associate links within 180 days after the initiation of your account, I initially thought that this would be the easiest sale ever. The sales must be "natural sales," you can’t send someone your link and they buy something, and it can’t be family. Somehow Big Brother knows. Well, this has been the hardest three sales ever. I haven’t made a single sale. lol, but I have had a lot of followers on my blog so for that I am thrilled.
I could see that I needed to upscale the website if I wanted to monetize the website with Google ads and make some sort of income with the blog, because sales on the Market Affililate were rather slow, therefore, I reached out to Christie at CK Graphics and Design. She created this beautiful revamped Bougie website that you see now, which is exactly what I had envisioned. I had the skeleton of the website, I just needed the nuts and bolts of it put together. She was so easy to work with and quick! Launching my website was like giving birth to my fourth child, minus the labor pains and 2 a.m. feedings (thank goodness for small miracles). Sure, there were sleepless nights and a few moments of self-doubt, but seeing that 'Welcome to Bougiebudgetmama' page go live was pure magic.
So, don't be afraid to embrace the chaos. Embrace the moments of uncertainty, the mishaps that make for the best stories, and the challenges that push you beyond your limits. It's in those moments that we grow, that we learn, and that we find the courage to rewrite our stories in bold, vibrant hues.
Remember, it's never too late to rewrite your story. Whether you're 20, 40, or 60, there's always room for a plot twist, for a new chapter waiting to be written. Grab hold of that pen and start scribbling your own happily-ever-after. If all else fails, if the doubts creep in and the teenage eye rolls threaten to dampen your spirit, invest in a good pair of sunglasses. Not only will they shield you from the glare of uncertainty, but they'll also serve as a reminder to approach life with a sense of humor, to laugh in the face of adversity, and to never take yourself too seriously. So, here's to stepping outside your comfort zone, to embracing the chaos, finding your laughter again, and taking a chance on something you wouldn't normally do. Because in the end, it's the risks we take, the adventures we embark on, and the laughter we share along the way that make life worth living. MUAH!
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