Introduction: A Comedy of Errors
As a mother of four—three girls and one boy—you'd think we had this parenting thing down pat by now and could write the Mom's Epic Guide to Potty Training," and you could read this Holy Grail and within the first three lines you would have all the answers you would need to master the art of parenting with all the secrets you would need to succeed as parents. We thought that too! We were confident that potty training would be a breeze. After all, the girls had been relatively easy. With three kids already under our belt, we figured we knew the drill. It was just a matter of hitting replay, right? Wrong! Little did we know, the joke was on us!
Remember our saga with sleep training this little guy? No one thought to mention that potty training a boy is an entirely different ballgame from training a girl—and infinitely more challenging! Was everyone in on this secret except us? Were you all hiding in the corner, stifling your laughter? Well, here's a confession: despite our best efforts—bribes, threats, promises, and desperate pleas—we've yet to achieve success with him.
So, today, I invite you to join me on a journey through one momma's reality of epic failed attempts of potty training escapades with her son…
The Potty Training Circus Begins
When we decided to potty train our daughter, it felt like we were handed a golden ticket to the Potty Training Express. Armed with sticker charts, M&M bribes, and a potty training anthem, we thought we had it all figured out. We even had potties sprouting in every corner of the house like little porcelain mushrooms. With special "big kid" undies and a timer set to 'pee-peat' every five minutes, we were primed for success and success it was! She was potty trained within three days, actually probably a day, the girl had it figured out after the first successful void on the potty, I think we only had an accident. This girl was amazing!
Then entered Owen, our little champion of chaos. With a passion for tractors that rivaled a farmer's, we thought themed underwear would be the trick. We mimicked everything we had done before, with Sofia, how hard could this be? But oh, how wrong we were! As we kicked off our potty training extravaganza with Owen, we quickly realized we were in for a wild ride. Despite our best efforts and a flood of fluids, Owen remained as dry as the Sahara. We tried everything from moving the potty in front of the TV (a 'potty pause' for his favorite show) to hydrating him like a marathon runner, but Owen wasn't buying it. "Oops," he'd say, and our hopes would deflate faster than a popped balloon at a birthday party. Potty training our son was less like a walk in the park and more like a circus tightrope act—except the tightrope was on fire, and we forgot our safety net!
Setting Realistic Expectations (Spoiler Alert: Chaos May Ensue!)
Working in the hospital, I had the privilege of curbside chats with pediatricians, where I was able to gain some valuable tips and tricks. That's when I discovered just how different potty training a boy would be. Rather than pushing him, we decided to take a laid-back approach and let Owen lead the way.
One fateful evening, during a "peaceful" family dinner, our four-year-old, Sofia, declared she needed to go "poopies." With the ease of a seasoned pro, she dashed off to the bathroom. Suddenly, like a comedy of errors, Owen decided to join the action. With three of us left at the table, we relished the brief moment of tranquility. But our respite was short-lived.
From the bathroom came Sofia's piercing scream: "Owen peed!" My initial reaction? Fantastic, urine all over the floor. Rushing to the scene, my ten-year-old burst out with, "Mom, Owen peed in the potty!" We stormed into the bathroom like a herd of wild buffalo, only to find Owen sitting on his tiny throne, beaming proudly. The three-year-old had successfully coached him through his first potty triumph! It was nothing short of miraculous. All five of us erupted into a spontaneous potty dance and song. My husband and I exchanged glances, silently pondering whether we should just hand the reins over to Sofia. Perhaps she's the true potty-training whisperer after all!
The Potty Training Resumes: The Great Experiment
After Owen's lone successful pee in the potty, I optimistically declared to the whole family, "Owen's potty training journey begins now—and we're all in it together!" Armed with tips from the pediatrician, I launched into full-scale preparation mode. I whipped up motivational posters on Canva, stocked up on stickers from the dollar store, and even ordered a "special potty" just for Owen. It was a grand plan—I figured if the whole family got involved, it would provide extra motivation for Owen. But alas, reality had other ideas.
While the four-year-old quickly filled her poster with stickers within an hour, eager to collect as many as possible, Owen's remained untouched, languishing on the mantle. To add insult to injury, he promptly discarded his poster altogether. Talk about a parenting plot twist! I was back to the drawing board as I pondered what could motivate this kid.
Strategies and Tactics
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: Owen's tractor obsession could be the key to unlocking his potty training potential. With a stroke of genius (or desperation), I ordered a shiny new tractor from Amazon and presented it to him with one condition: it was his only if he could muster up the courage to pee in the potty. I could see the wheels turning in his little mind as he sized up the stakes. Challenge accepted, Mom.
The tractor took its place of honor on the mantle, gleaming like a coveted trophy. Owen, however, seemed content to treat his potty like a throne, spending hours upon hours perched upon it, but alas, no pee in sight. We stuck to our trusty five-minute intervals, but soon even the alarm lost its charm, leaving Owen sitting stoically on his porcelain perch. It was as if he had declared a potty sit-in, with no end in sight.
Yet, fear not, dear reader, for Owen has developed a telltale expression that betrays his secret accidents—a look of sheer panic that screams, "Uh-oh, what just happened?" And so, to this day, the tractor remains perched on our mantle, patiently awaiting the day Owen finally decides to let loose and claim his prize.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and this isn't a forever battle we'll be facing. However, just when I thought we were making progress, a physician dropped the bombshell that their potty-trained son was still wetting the bed. It's a reminder that while diapers may eventually become a thing of the past, the journey to mastering underwear can feel like an endless uphill climb. Yet, amidst the chaos and frustration, it's essential to remember that we're not alone in this "battlefield" of potty training.
Eventually, all kids figure out that underwear is the way to go, and these messy mishaps will become cherished memories. So, if all else fails, arm yourself with a good sense of humor and plenty of extra laundry detergent. Strap on your superhero cape (or should I say diaper?), embrace the chaos and know that one day, you'll look back on these moments and laugh.
Therefore, always remember, that potty training mishaps may test our patience, but they also provide moments of hilarity and growth for the entire family. Embrace the chaos, celebrate the small victories, and remember that these messy moments are just part of our parenting journey. As you navigate through the ups and downs of potty training, find humor in the unexpected and joy in the progress, knowing that with time and patience, your son or daughter will someday conquer this milestone. Keep your spirits up, keep the wipes handy, and remember, you're not alone in this adventure. Keep singing your potty song, and don't forget to give each other a big high-five for making it through another day! MUAH!
Lindsay Leighton-Smith is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, Lindsay Leighton-Smith earns from qualifying purchases.
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